put your arms around it and hold tight
it sticks out in front of the blue and the white this wonderful little picture in the box of the sky and the clouds and the hills below it
touch it and take it
Stephanie drifts. Or maybe the land below her does. Or maybe the sky is rushing above her. Or maybe ever single centimeter she can hold onto is starting over again. Starting to breathe. Starting to see. Starting to siege away.
Eyes closed, she can see something but she doesn’t know what it looks like but it’s beautiful in this terrifying sort of way.
Something molded and shaped with something else sticking out.
And she’s somebody standing there, standing on it, standing at the edge, holding and hovering, waiting.
Waiting with the wind.
Waiting with the sun.
What do you have in store and what are you here for?
God what a feeling. Reeling. Reeling again.
Stephanie can see it all but this is a dream or some kind of illusion. David Copperfield has suddenly entered her mind and how can that be ‘cause is he still alive anyway?
breathe out little girl breathe
Sharp. Light. Take. End.
Falling. She’s falling now. She’s trying to run but she can’t anymore. And this place and this urging seems suddenly gone and someone’s laughing telling her it’s all lost and it’s all gone and she’s just one more unremarkable footnote in the story of eternity.
shoot up again little princess
Oh the hateful, awful voices.
shine on you crazy diamond
She wants to run. She wants to reel back. She wants to do anything but she can’t because the black and the malice and the anger and the whole dam bursting cover her entirety.
Coughing, laughing, crying, Stephanie wakes up. In her apartment.
She knows she needs more.
Just a little more.
So yeah, this little, this awesome, this crazy little diamond.
take it nobody will understand nobody can really understand unless they’ve been here at the abyss take it all you crazy little diamond
Day and night and minute and hour and moment all become intertwined into the same twisted, spiraling knot.
The rush. Once again.
Oh the rush.
yes the rush yes you don’t understand yes it’s good it’s so good
So good until it wears off. And it always will. Always.